Michelle Payne ‘wasn’t ready’ to be a mum when the world expected it of her. She is now

As one of 10 children, some people assumed Michelle Payne would go on to have a big family herself – and to do that, she’d have to start young.

Instead, she made history as the first female jockey to win the Melbourne Cup at age 30 and put motherhood on the backburner until years later, after she retired.

Now she’s expecting her first child with partner Gabriel Ribeiro at age 40, and she wouldn’t change a thing.

“I was sort of pressured in my 20s about having children, you know, that’s just what you did,” Payne told nine.com.au.

“But I just had this feeling I wasn’t ready, and I really wanted to feel like I was.”

The average age of mothers in Australia is about 31 and has been rising steadily as many pursue careers and other passions first.

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That shift has given women like Payne the freedom to choose when and how they become parents, rather than being pressured to dive in before they’re ready.

She’s incredibly grateful for it.

“I feel like I can now give everything to being a mum, and it’s at a time in my life where I feel totally settled and committed,” Payne said.

Though this pregnancy wasn’t a surprise (Payne and Ribeiro had agreed they were ready to start a family), the fact it happened without medical assistance was.

“I was hoping it would happen naturally, but I didn’t get my hopes too high because I am a bit older,” Payne confessed.

“I did freeze some eggs in my early 30s, just in case I had left it too long, but I was lucky to fall pregnant naturally and not have to fall back on that.”

Now she’s more than halfway through the pregnancy and said it’s been pretty smooth sailing.

The only bump in the road hit around 10 weeks in, when Payne experienced rapid weight gain that took a significant emotional and mental toll.

After decades of carefully controlling her weight as a jockey, she struggled with the sudden changes to her body.

“I felt like, ‘Oh god, if I keep doing this I’m going to explode,’” she confessed.

“Everything was changing so much and that was a stage that really concerned me, but I had really good support.”

Payne’s partner and sisters came to her rescue and reminded her growing a child requires something different from her than being an elite sportswoman did.

“They’re like, ‘It doesn’t matter, [you’ve had] such a controlled diet over so many years, and your body’s been probably underweight as a jockey,’” she said.

“Getting used to being a lot heavier than I am usually was a bit of a shock, but you’ve got to trust the process.”

With a few small, simple changes to her routine, diet and exercise, Payne found herself settling into pregnancy more and is now “loving the process”.

Though this will be her first child, she knows a fair bit about what to expect while she’s expecting after watching her older sisters become mums.

For example, she knows to avoid alcohol while trying to conceive and during pregnancy.

But until recently, she didn’t understand the full gravity of why.

Prenatal alcohol exposure can cause Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD), a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition with no cure.

It can affect development, learning and behaviour, and the symptoms are varied, so it is often misdiagnosed or overlooked.

Though there is no cure for FASD, it is 100 per cent preventable.

But not all Aussie women are aware of that, something Payne is hoping to change through her new partnership with DrinkWise.

Some women don’t have access to reproductive education or adequate prenatal care, others may be exposed to misinformation about drinking during pregnancy.

Education about FASD may also get lost in the flood of information that many Aussies experience when starting a family,

“There’s so much information that you’re taking on board, and you’re trying to do the best thing for this little person that you bring into the world,” Payne said.

“To be able to spread this message to other women who haven’t had as much family around them or aren’t as aware, it’s really special.”

It is not safe to consume any amount of alcohol during pregnancy, as exposure can cause harm at even the earliest stages.

It’s safest not to drink while trying to conceive or while breastfeeding as well.

Payne is now a firm believer pregnant Aussies’ partners should also give up drinking in solidarity when they’re expecting.

Ribeiro often abstains from alcohol at family barbecues and events to make it that little bit easier on her, and it’s had a real impact.

“You’re going through so many changes already with your body and your hormones and planning, and everything’s happening at once,” Payne said.

“To have that tiny bit of extra support is more important than I think a lot of men would realise.”

For more information about FASD and advice on alcohol when planning a pregnancy, pregnant or breastfeeding, visit DrinkWise.org.au.