Working from Home Diaries: 'Office' etiquette in the time of COVID-19

Once upon a time — all of two months ago — my most awkward workplace social situation was trying to refrain from relying on weather chat when making small talk in the kitchen.

(That, or the equally mundane: "Ooh, smells good, what are you heating up there?")

Now, as one of the many Aussies working from home as coronavirus continues to dictate our daily activities, that little situation has moved out of the office and into the virtual realm.

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Rather than urging myself not to open with a remark on the ambient air temperature, I'm now having to actively resist using the phrase "these difficult/crazy/strange times" in emails.

Thanks to COVID-19, inbox phrases like, "Hope you're coping okay in these crazy times!" "Hope this finds you well in these uncertain times!" or "Stay safe in these difficult times!" are officially the new mundane watercooler chat.

That's not the only aspect of typical workplace behaviour that's morphed as businesses and employees adopt to working remotely.

With the 'office' moving online and into our own homes, here are the 2020 versions of your classic office faux pas:

Office faux pas: Watching videos at a significant volume, not realising your headphones aren't plugged in.

Home office faux pas: Participating in a video conference, not realising you've unwittingly turned yourself into a potato with a digital filter.

Office faux pas: Sending a 'reply all' response to a company-wide email.

Home office faux pas: Neglecting to mute your microphone during video calls, thus inflicting background noise, eating sounds and thunderous typing on your colleagues as they attempt to discuss important professional matters.

Office faux pas: Interrupting colleagues' meetings by walking into a room without knocking or peeping through the window first.

Home office faux pas: Interrupting partner/housemate's meetings by wandering into background of Zoom call (without taking notice of the fact they're clearly on a call).

Office faux pas: Wearing shorts, ripped jeans, or any other garment deemed inappropriate according to office dress code.

Home office faux pas: Not wearing pants at all, and forgetting this fact when you need to stand up mid-video conference.

Office faux pas: Forgetting to iron work clothes and turning up to your very corporate job a rumpled mess.

Home office faux pas: Forgetting to wash the stained, threadbare trackie dacks you've been wearing every day for the last four weeks. Come on now. They're starting to smell.

Office faux pas: Not embracing your 'indoor voice' and constantly talking at a disruptive volume.

Home office faux pas: @ all-ing a work Slack channel when the question or topic warrants a direct message to one person.

Office faux pas: The awkward silence while waiting for the elevator to reach your floor.

Home office faux pas: The awkward silence of waiting for that last coworker to arrive in your Microsoft Teams call so you can finally get underway.

Office faux pas: Stealing a colleague's more comfortable-looking office chair.

Home office faux pas: Thinking you could get away with this in your own house.

Office faux pas: Leaving computer screen unlocked, personal email on display when away from desk.

Home office faux pas: Starting video conference without checking immediate surrounds for co-inhabitant in state of undress.

Office faux pas: Thieving lunches from the communal fridge.

Home office faux pas: Yeah, look, don't do that at home either — unless your "colleague" is you and you live alone.