Dark truth behind Madonna's Coachella backlash as gendered ageism raises its ugly head

OPINION -- When Madonna appeared on stage with Sabrina Carpenter at Coachella, the condemnation came thick and fast.

While many took aim at Madonna's performance, much of the criticism was not about her performance or even her attire. Instead, the underlying tone of criticism directed at Madonna was really about one thing – her age.

Indeed, while Mick Jagger still struts around the stage with the Rolling Stones at 82 – he is 15 years older than Madonna – the truth is, much of the criticism Madonna faced was because she dared to perform at all.

Watch the video above.

In the days since the performance, social media in particular is still abuzz, not just over Madonna's performance, but seemingly her sheer audacity for daring to turn up to the iconic festival at all.

A video of her dancing wildly to another performer went viral over the weekend.

But instead of seeing what I see – a passionate music lover rocking out at the world's premier music festival – others saw something else; a woman past her prime who should be locked away somewhere gathering dust instead of living her life.

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And it is not just her decisions as a performer that rile an age-obsessed public, but her private life as well.

Whenever Madonna appears with her much younger boyfriend, the comments are even more savage.

The star has been dating Jamaican-born soccer player Akeem Morris since 2022. Morris, now 29, is often by her side and accompanied her to Coachella.

The two appear to be happy and in love. Their relationship is certainly not hurting anyone, but the comments about them on social media sites are usually scathing.

"What could he possibly see in her?" is a common one. Most include unsettling comments about her appearance.

Yet at the heart of these cruel comments is one thing; Madonna's age, and the belief amongst a large portion of society that she should have been put out to pasture long ago.

Of course, Madonna is not alone.

Jennifer Lopez is often called out on social media by users referencing her age.

The JLo Show Live in Las Vegas show ran from December 2025 until last month and videos of her high-energy performances in barely-there showgirl-like costumes are regularly shared on social media.

But instead of marvelling at her dance routines, amazingly fit and toned physique and her singing prowess, most of the comments are about one thing: her age.

"Why is JLo dressing like this at 56?" is one often repeated question beside vision of her literally burning up the stage.

Um, because she can.

Of course, both stars have been down this road before.

Madonna faced condemnation over a previous Coachella performance back in 2015 when she made a surprise appearance during Drake's set, and included a passionate onstage kiss.

Despite being 56 at the time, she was labelled a 'grandma' – despite not actually being one.

Meanwhile, Jagger is an actual grandfather and great-grandfather who is engaged to a woman 44 years his junior.

Yet, when he struts around the stage he wins praise for his stamina and longevity. He is even commended for having wrinkles, which are said to add character and authenticity to his face.

Meanwhile, Madonna is accused of 'trying too hard'.

Commenters often suggest she should be ageing gracefully – that's code for ageing somewhere other than a stage at Coachella.

Madonna herself has at times spoken about the gendered ageism and sexist double standards she has suffered throughout her career, and railed against the fact that despite being a form of discrimination, it is still somehow socially acceptable.

She even went so far to say during her 2016 Billboard Woman of the Year speech that "the most controversial thing I have ever done is to stick around".

She was 56 at the time, but was already being told she was past her prime.

So why do I care so much about Madonna and JLo and the flak they cop simply for ageing in the public eye?

Well I guess it is starting to occur to me that sometime in the future I will ask myself if it is OK for me to hit the dancefloor when my favourite song starts playing at the local RSL.

While men seem to escape asking themselves these kinds of questions, women are still made to feel that simply being alive past a certain age is an affront to society.

Which is exactly why we need the JLos and Madonnas of the world to keep doing what they are doing.

That is, just turning up, either on a stage in Vegas or Coachella, and simply ageing. Not gracefully, but however damn way they please.

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