'I know some women will hate my choice': Bride-to-be reveals surname struggle
OPINION -- As soon as my fiance and I started talking about marriage, I knew I wanted to take his last name – Skipper – but I was on the fence about changing my name at work.
As a journalist, I've spent the last seven years building a portfolio and reputation tied to the name Maddison Leach, which is on every article (and email) I've ever written.
My colleagues, contacts, and even a few celebrities know me by that name.
"Even Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman know me by my maiden name." Nine
At first glance, it seemed like the easier choice to take my fiance's name legally but keep using my maiden name professionally.
A number of women in my life also encouraged me to keep my maiden name at work, as a way to maintain a sense of independence from my husband and mark my career achievements as mine alone.
I understand that appeals to some people for a wide range of reasons.
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Maddison Leach with her fiancé, whose surname is way cuter than hers. Nine
As a child of divorce, I know marriages don't always last and sometimes it's prudent to plan for the worst.
But do I really want to go into my marriage planning for the worst? Probably not.
I'm going into this planning for decades spent at each others' sides, for Christmases split between his family and mine until we have kids of our own, for being a team in all things.
And I want to do that sharing a surname, at home and at work.
(To be perfectly honest, my fiance was willing to take my last name too but Skipper is much cuter than Leach – and it doesn't bring to mind images of blood-sucking parasites.)
I know some women will hate my choice, eve among my own friends and family, and that's to be expected.
For centuries, women were used as bargaining chips in marriages that were designed to transfer them like assets from their fathers to their husbands.
When a time came where they had the choice to keep their maiden names, those who did were judged and criticised for it.
Even now, a woman's decision to change or keep her surname when she marries comes with so much pressure and expectation.
I spent a long time thinking about it myself before I decided to take my future husband's name at all.
But the way I see it, there will be benefits to adopting my new married name at work.
Illustration of a bride and groom from 19th century. Getty
With a new byline, I'll have a fresh slate and can distance myself from the fumbling articles I wrote when I got my first job at 22.
The articles I do want to keep connected to me can easily be amended to reflect my new surname, or linked on any number of professional profiles to keep them within reach.
Introducing myself with a new name (even over emails) will also give me the opportunity to yap about my wedding and honeymoon for up to six months after the fact, which I know I'll love.
And, later down the line, my kids will be able to look me up and see my work published under a name they share with me.
"The way I see it, there will be benefits to adopting my new married name at work." Getty
"But you started your career with your maiden name," someone recently said to me.
"You've had that name your whole life! How can you ditch it now?"
It's true; I've spent 29 years as Maddison Leach, seven of them as a working journalist.
But I plan to spend a much longer time as Maddison Skipper, so that's the name I plan to sign off with for the rest of my life.
Just as soon as we tie the knot, that is!
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