'We came home to find our toddler on the footpath': Mum's dilemma over brother-in-law's babysitting

I've always really adored my brother-in-law Ben*. He is a kind person, a lot of fun, very generous with his money and I thought he'd make a great uncle too.

So when my partner Nick* and I had kids, we loved having Ben around, and when the kids were a bit older Ben offered to babysit them on a few occasions, which was very kind of him.

We were desperate for a few "date nights" so we really welcomed the offer, and the first two times he babysat, everything was fine — but we quickly worked out that he is just not great at looking after kids. There have been several near-disasters and we are now turning him down whenever he offers to mind the kids for us.

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The kids are aged four and two, which is a difficult age as they are into everything and our two-year-old will run out of the house if you don't keep the front gate shut.

We told Ben this several times, but he just laughed and said, "They'll be fine with me, they won't try and run off!"

We came home from our lunch date to find our two-year-old on the footpath! Thankfully he didn't try to cross the road — our road is very quiet usually but it still gave us a heart attack to see him standing outside the gate just wearing his nappy.

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The other thing Ben loves to do is deliberately go against everything we tell him.

For example, I try very hard to reduce the amount of sugar the kids consume. I realise "everything in moderation" is a good rule, but our four-year-old goes rather crazy after sugar. I left plenty of healthy food, celery and carrot sticks, hummus, a fruit platter, cheese sandwiches and yoghurt.

What does Ben do? He gets them fast food takeaway, followed by a smorgasbord of chocolate, lollies and ice cream. The kids were very happy, of course, but I was furious. It feels really deliberate to me.

He jokes that he is just re-living his childhood but I'd rather pay a babysitter and have my instructions followed.

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Also, I've asked that when he babysits, he doesn't have his friends over. Nick and I once came back from a night out, and not only were the kids still up and watching television at midnight, but Ben had three of his mates over. They were all drinking.

Now, I'm not a prude but I really didn't appreciate the fact they were all pretty tanked. I mean, what would have happened if there'd been an emergency with the kids?

He is just too much of a party boy for my liking. Thankfully, Nick agrees with me. The kids adore him and it's great they get to spent this special time with their uncle but I just don't want him alone with them anymore. He can't be trusted!