Tortoise saying “wow” will seem less cute when you realise what he was doing

We all love those videos of animals who sound like they’re talking, especially when it’s a dog saying something like “I love you”.

This one starts off just as cute, with a tortoise repeatedly making a noise that sounds an awful lot like “wow”.

How sweet.

The aldabra giant tortoise is expressing his amazement at the world and at first it’s very life-affirming – we could learn something from this sweet reptile.

 “If only we could all be as awe-stuck with the magic of life like this tortoise,” you think.

What a darling.

But then the video pans to the tortoise’s side and you realise the filthy, filthy truth.

This guy isn’t trying to inspire you to appreciate the joys around you.

He’s mating.

He’s making love, getting action, dancing the horizontal tango – whatever you want to call it, he’s doing it.

He’s no longer a cutie, but a crusty old pervert with no sense of shame.

And then you realise you were watching him the whole time, looking him right in the eye like some kind of sicko.

Feel like you need to take a shower? We certainly do.