MAFS bride Domenica Calarco admits first year of motherhood ‘almost broke’ her

Exclusive: Domenica Calarco thought she had it rough when Married At First Sight’s 2022 season aired and she and found herself subjected to online harassment for the first time.

Now she knows that was nothing compared to the pressure of being a solo, first-time mum just trying her best while millions of strangers watch and wait for her to stumble.

Speaking exclusively to nine.com.au days after her daughter Dove’s first birthday, Calarco confessed the first 12 months of motherhood have been a rollercoaster.

There have been highs the likes of which she’d never felt before – like seeing Dove smile or laugh for the first time – lows that nearly broke her, and online trolls always waiting in the wings to criticise her for any perceived misstep.

“They think it’s OK, that they can just throw shit at you,” she told nine.com.au of the strangers who leave hate comments.

“Like it’s valid because you’ve opened yourself up publicly, and you’ve put yourself out there, so you deserve it.

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MAFS’ Domenica Calarco hits back over co-parenting criticism: ‘I would do it again’

“But at the end of the day, I am just a mum doing this for the first time, learning along the way, and sharing the ups and the downs.”

Calarco fell pregnant shortly before splitting from ex Jarod Bogunovich, meaning she went through much of her pregnancy and the newborn phase alone.

She had thyroiditis while pregnant, weighed just 46 kilos when she gave birth, and has struggled with the chronic autoimmune disorder Graves’ disease ever since.

Those health issues left her feeling physically weak and emotionally isolated, which was even harder to endure without a romantic partner for support.

Though Calarco has embraced solo motherhood now, it’s clear there’s still some resentment over how the whole situation played out.

“People have got no f--king clue on what I’ve been through,” she said.

“Who leaves the mother of his child and a newborn three-week-old alone? If I didn’t have my parents literally 100 meters away, that would have just broken me.

“There were times that it almost did, because it was so hard ... feeling like I’m losing myself and don’t know who I am postpartum.”

Holding Dove in her arms now and seeing her smile makes all those challenges worth it, but Calarco will be the first to admit co-parenting as a first-time mum with a public platform isn’t easy.

She said she and Bogunovich don’t always agree on the best way to co-parent, which can leave her feeling frustrated and disappointed.

Nine.com.au has contacted Bogunovich for comment.

But when Calarco is honest about the harder parts of co-parenting, she claimed she just cops more hate.

“A lot of these people in the comments are like, ‘I co-parent my 15-year-old just fine,’” she said.

“And I’m like, ‘That’s great, but I was basically alone from three weeks postpartum, so doing it with a newborn is very different.’”

She believes solo mums are expected to “accept the bare minimum” and not complain, which is why she cops so much blowback when she’s honest about how hard co-parenting with her ex can be.

Calarco also suspects that she wouldn’t receive the same hate if she was a man talking about his experiences co-parenting as a solo dad, as they’re often celebrated for doing “the bare minimum”.

The double standard leaves a bad taste in Calarco’s mouth.

“If a man is talking about co-parenting, it means that he wants to be with his children and wants to keep the peace,” she said.

“But when a woman speaks about her co-parenting journey, she’s unrealistic with her expectations, she’s controlling, she’s manipulative.”

The worst part, Calarco said, is that often the criticism and hate comes from other women – sometimes even other mums.

That’s what hurts the most; feeling like she’s being torn down by women who, theoretically, should understand and empathise and uplift other women, rather than dragging them down.

After five years in the public eye, Calarco has learned how to ignore online bullies.

But it breaks her heart to think of other solo mums who turn to social media hoping to find support, only to have their efforts thrown back in their face.

“I have the courage to be disliked. I put myself out there on the internet, I know people aren’t going to like me, and I don’t really care about that,” she said.

“But I know that there are people out there that appreciate the honesty because it makes them feel like they’re not alone in this.

“And I do get a lot of feedback from mums, saying that I’ve made them feel seen as a mother.”