Between Two Posts: Stan Sport commentator Sean Maloney's round four Super Rugby wrap
OK team, in an effort to shamelessly flog the Between Two Posts show Andrew Mehrtens and I host on Stan Sport, the bosses have asked for some accompanying words each week.
And so here's the first edition of my Super Rugby Pacific column, tapped out while I froth milk for my strong flat white.
Watch Between Two Posts with Sean Maloney and Andrew Mehrtens tonight from 7pm on Stan Sport OR subscribe to the podcast version here
VINAKA VINAYA
Fijian Drua's Vinaya Habosi is freakishly quick and very nearly delivered the biggest upset in Super Rugby history at Suncorp Stadium.
Checking his run to take the pass, he burnt Queensland to score untouched from 50 out.
He's lightning.
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Incredibly, Fiji Rugby general manager Simon Raiwalui - the former Wallabies forwards coach - tells me he was in a very bad way just eight months ago.
"He was critically hospitalised last July with a bone infection, lost 20kg and was told he wouldn't be able to train for two years. Look at him now," Raiwalui said.
Simon's right, look at him.
TOP OF THE PROPS
Front rowers of all ages dream of long range tries.
It's rainbow unicorn stuff for most of them.
So, imagine how far-fetched a long range try off a kick regather is.
Well, it happened in the Waratahs' Super W win against the Force.
Bridie O'Gorman, off the back fence… full tilt.
You gotta see it to believe it, Andrew Swain with the commentary... it's a beautiful thing.
GONE IN 9O SECONDS
Sure, the Melbourne Rebels are sitting last, but on Friday night they produced one of the best tries we can remember seeing at AAMI Park.
Richard Hardwick of the Rebels scores a try. Getty
Off turnover ball and after 10 snappy phases of play, Richard Hardwick closed it out.
Prop Cabous Eloff handled multiple times, Carter Gordon and Moses Sorovi were influential, it just looked really good.
They won't stay at the foot of the ladder much longer with more footy like that.
WITCHING HOUR
Ahead of his starting debut with the Brumbies, lock Tom Hooper made a brave and rather reckless move by describing his mum as a "witch" at his mid-week press conference.
Tom Hooper of the Brumbies is tackled. Getty
Well, whatever mama Hooper has got cooking in her cauldron, Brums coach Dan McKellar should be sharing.
The kid out of the Central West of NSW was outstanding in their big win and had the commentary box divided over whether it should've been him or Tom Banks as MVP.
As always, Mehrts got his way and it went to a back.
SEE MY VEST
Seeeeeeeeeee my vest, see my vest, said the Queensland Reds with lock Connor Vest making his Super Rugby debut.
Connor Vest celebrates making his Super Rugby debut. Brendan Hertel/QRU
Connor has already won premierships with Norths in Sydney's Shute Shield AND University of Queensland in Brisbane's Hospital Cup.
Who else has completed the double and gone onto Super?
Has anyone done the treble? Let me know.
Mack Hansen celebrates with teammates after Bundee Aki scored Ireland's first try. Getty
RETURN OF THE MACK
Finally, Mehrts and I checked in with former Brumby and now Six Nations superstar Mack Hansen on last week's episode.
He's loving life in Ireland, has a beard which rivals Alan from the Hangover AND has his own little on-board wolf pack.
Missing his dog back in Canberra, Mack went and got him tattooed on his left bicep as only Mack would.
WHO DAT?
Which gun player missed weekend action after suffering a terrible case of the dreaded 'Mover's Butt?'
Which Reds staffer accidentally under-clubbed the recent rains in Brisbane, which in turn saw a player's car go under at Ballymore?
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