'Why Toffee, the dating app just for private school alumni, is my idea of hell'

I went to a private school, and I still think the new dating app for private school-educated alumni, “Toffee”, is the most elite, awful wank fest that has ever landed in Australia.

I can’t think of anything worse than swiping through a pile of polo-loving bougies to search for a prospective partner.

Toffee's founder Lydia Davis says she created the app “because we know people from similar backgrounds are more likely to stick together". Oh, please…

Part of the setup of one’s profile is to select your ideal entrée, main, dessert and cheese course.

OK, let’s use a real-life example: my ideal entrée would be an amazing burger (maybe a slider, it's the entrée after all) and my husband would probably say steak tartare (that fancy AF French dish compiled of raw beef mince with raw egg. Ew).

If we were using the app, our profiles might not match because I, who went to a fancy private school, like burgers and my husband, who likes the fancy raw food, wouldn't even pass the verifying background check because he didn’t go to a private school.

Shock, horror — whatever do we have to talk about?

I remember partying with private school kids growing up, and most of the guys had a god complex and didn’t respect women.

They certainly didn’t tolerate anyone who was in any way different, like me who was loud, outspoken and opinionated.

Also, I wasn’t from your typical private school stock with a single mum photographer and single dad freelance writer.

What is it saying about society and what we value in each other? That you can’t be a prospective partner if your parents didn’t pay thousands of dollars for your education?

I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the opportunities I was given; my parents slogged it out to pay for my education and we got by.

As a parent myself now, I can only imagine the sacrifices and the toll that must have taken on them. But I value it as an education, not as a lifestyle.

I feel like school is such a small part of our lives. Why would it, and should it, define who we are and who we date as adults?

If you stay in your own clique forever, doesn’t that stop you from meeting people from different cultures, ages, spiritual beliefs and values, and isn’t diversity what makes us and life interesting?

“When it comes to online dating, people like some commonality to search by. The reason we have a problem with this [app] is because what we are talking about is socioeconomic status and money," says relationship expert and sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein.

WATCH: How one man used Tinder to travel around Europe for free. (Post continues.)

"If we were talking about commonalities such as religion (of which there are many dating apps available) we are comfortable with that. What we have a problem with is that Toffee is a shared value around money.

"If this is important in someone’s list of qualities for a prospective partner, that’s fine for them.

"We might not agree with it, others might think they are narrow-minded. But can we really change someone’s mind about what they want if they are not asking for that type of help?”

I guess not, Dr Nikki. Maybe I am being too quick to judge because of my experience growing up around privileged and entitled people and how I felt suffocated and that I never fit in.

Or maybe I'm biased because the thought of going to a Polo match with people standing around talking about which private school they have put their kids down on waitlists for would literally be my idea of hell.

Just because I grew up around that world I chose to leave, who am I to tell anyone it’s not okay if that's what they want?

However, I can still tell them it’s elitist and wanky, because it really is.

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