Why Harry was 'ashamed' of his response to Meghan's admission she was suicidal

Prince Harry has opened up on the moment wife Meghan Markle told him he was suicidal, admitting he felt "angry and ashamed" about the factors that had fed her despair.

Speaking to Oprah in their new Apple TV+ docuseries The Me You Can't See, the Duke of Sussex also claims the royal family disregarded the couple's pleas for support as they struggled with the intense spotlight on their relationship.

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Saying the situation had left them feeling "completely helpless", Harry recalls, "I thought my family would help, but every single ask, request, warning just got met with total silence or total neglect.

"We spent four years trying to make it work. We did everything we possibly could to stay there, and carry on doing the role and doing the job. But Meghan was struggling."

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In January 2019, when Meghan was six months pregnant with son Archie, she told Harry she had suicidal thoughts, detailing "the practicalities of how she was going to end her life".

Recalling the moment, which came hours before the couple attended an event at Royal Albert Hall in London, Harry speaks of his wife's clarity of thought.

"She hadn't lost it, she wasn't 'crazy', she wasn't self-medicating, be it through pills or through alcohol. She was absolutely sober. She was completely sane," he tells Oprah.

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"The thing that stopped her from seeing it through was how unfair it would be on me, after everything that had happened to my mum, and to now be put in a position of losing another woman in my life, with a baby inside of her, our baby.

"I am somewhat ashamed of the way that I dealt with it."

Explaining why, Harry says the couple only had time for "a quick cuddle" before they had to get ready for their public appearance, where they would "step out in front of a wall of cameras". He says declining to attend the event wasn't an option, remarking, "Imagine the stories".

As Meghan quietly wept beside him at the Royal Albert Hall, Harry recalls feeling sorry for her, and angry with himself that they were "stuck in this situation."

"I was ashamed that it got this bad. I was ashamed to go to my family, because to be honest with you, like a lot of other people my age could probably relate to, I know that I'm not going to get from my family what I need."

Harry says the birth of the couple's son Archie Mountbatten Windsor in May 2019 crystallised his decision to ultimately remove them from the demands of royal life.

"I then had a son, who I'd far rather be solely focused on rather than every time I look in his eyes, wondering whether my wife is going to end up like my mother and I'm gonna have to look after him myself," he tells Oprah.

"That was one of the biggest reasons to leave."

The Me You Can't See, which drops on Apple TV+ today, explores mental health and emotional wellbeing through the lived experiences of a range of people, including Lady Gaga and Glenn Close.

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