What back-to-school is like for a mum of six

Back to school.

It’s 13 hours 43 minutes and 17 seconds till back to school time.

I’m sorry but you people that say things like “can’t holidays last forever” or “just one more day in the sun with my babes” drive me bat sh-t crazy. 

Each to their own but if someone doesn’t get my children back into school and Kindy soon I might loose my will to live.

Read more: Healthy school lunches kids will actually eat

They’ve taken my soul. And it’s going to take the entire day tomorrow to find it again.

Now don’t get me wrong I love my little cherubs. But I love them even more after they’ve been at school for seven hours. And they are tired and they want to eat food and hug me and go to bed; and they aren’t arguing with me all day, sorry Miss T.

Story time for everyone because I’ve had a fantastic rest!

I’m going to do some baking today.

Because, you know; lunchbox pressure, it’s a real thing. 

Except it’s totally not. 

You don’t need to put unnecessary pressure on yourself; newsflash; no one sees your child’s lunch but your child and the teacher. 

And I’m fairly certain she’s just trying to survive. 

Not one f-ck is given to weather you made a tiny vegetable face or if you given your child left over pizza from the night before!

Term one; your all bliss balls and mini quiches and by term three it’s all vegemite sandwiches and one apple. 

In this episode of Honey Mums, Mel and Kel talk about how mums deal with the chaos of having babies and catch up with dating expert Melanie Schilling: 

And sometimes. 

You’ll forget to pack lunch all together. 

Because you’ll say it’s lunch order day. 

And then you’ll forget to order a lunch order.

I always feel sad when I leave school for the first time, on the first day. 

And you look into their eyes, and you see the fear. She looks back at me like; “don’t leave”. 

That teacher; poor dear. 

And on that note. 

Buy your teacher wine.

No it’s not inappropriate, nobody will judge you. 

And yes she needs it.

Sometimes I think about all the wine I’ve drank these six weeks of holidays and then try and calculate how much the teacher might need for the next term, realise I’m not a millionaire and just offer her one bottle with sincerest apologies.

Image: Facebook @eightathome

I’m that mum that skips out of the school with a spring in their step- sure I feel a little nervous; last year I tried to make myself cry; it didn’t work.

Now for the important choices; should I drink a coffee on my own, or should I go shopping with my no money and buy homewares I don’t need. 

I normally settle with; tidying the house in peace and making a really good salad like one of those salads that have all the ingredients that you don’t normally have time to make or eat; and guess what?! You don’t have to share it!!!!

And sometimes I take a twenty minute shower. And exfoliate. 

When was the last time you could fit an exfoliater in.

Livin’ the dream.

Anyone else meant to have cleaned their car for the new school term? 

Me too. But I didn’t. I really need to. 

But news flash again no one cares. 

It’s fine. Can someone please explain to me that even when you haven’t eaten McDonald’s fries for a year there is still one under your car seat? 

Where the f-ck do they come from.

Krochelle with her children ahead of their return to school. Image: Facebook @eightathome

I think I have enough bags and shirts and shorts and shoes and drink bottles.

To last me the next six years and all six kids. You know just incase they all set on fire in some freak accident.

But I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough! 

There’s always something I’ve forgotten! 

I’m boycotting jumpers untill my eldest finds his two from last year!

To all the first time parents:

Please don’t panic. 

Your child is safe. 

You deserve a rest. 

And anything you don’t do right.

I promise no one is judging you! 

They probably don’t even notice. 

I just wrote my sons name wrong inside his hat!

Find some mums to have wine with, support your cherub on this special day and then Let’s kick the back to school pressure! 

And celebrate!