Lily believed she was facing $100,000 worth of debt when a stranger knocked on her door and saved her
The floors were still soaked when someone knocked on Lily's front door last Christmas and her stomach dropped.
She was expecting an insurance assessor but feared it her ex coming to abuse her after a burst water pipe rendered the house they used to share in Queensland unlivable.
It wouldn't be the first time he turned up unannounced.
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Lily was terrified the knock on her door was her ex turning up unannounced to harass her. Getty
One in four women have experienced violence – be it physical, sexual, verbal or emotional – from an intimate partner since the age of 15, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare.
That's equivalent to about 2.3 million Australian women and Lily is among that number, though it took her more than a decade to realise it.
In fact, she might have still been living in denial today if not for the assessor that was waiting on her front doorstep that day in December 2023.
"When she came to the house she could see my distress and utter despair, I just didn't know what I was going to do," Lily tells 9honey.
"She was the one that flagged that something was going on."
Lily was with her ex for more than 20 years and had come to accept his controlling behaviour as "normal".
He'd taken over their finances when she had their two daughters and became a stay at home mum, a choice he supported then used to control her.
"I was not earning any money, I didn't have access to bank accounts, I didn't have access to funds," Lily explains.
"He was of the opinion that he earns the money, so he controls where the money goes."
Lily's ex used money to control and financially abuse her for years. Getty Images/iStockphoto
Though he was never physically violent, his emotional and psychological abuse had a deep effect on Lily and she felt increasingly trapped and isolated.
"I couldn't leave because I had nothing financially and he knew that," she says.
In 2023, she finally separated from her ex for the sake of their daughters. He immediately cut her off financially.
With no money of her own to pay for the mortgage, Lily immediately began preparing to sell their house only for a cyclone to sweep through a few months after the split.
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It left Lily and her daughters without power or water for seven days between Christmas and the new year and when the water was finally restored, a pipe burst and flooded the house.
The damage was so extensive the home was deemed unlivable. Lily's ex immediately blamed her.
He turned up unannounced and screamed that she'd flooded the house on purpose. Their daughters witnessed it all.
"A couple of days later I got a letter from his lawyer saying that it was my fault, my negligence, he's not taking any responsibility and I have to pay for everything," Lily says.
Her ex claimed she'd have to pay upwards of $100,000 to fix the damage and that no insurance company would help her.
"I had nothing financially and he knew that."
Terrified, Lily contacted her insurer Allianz and arranged for an assessor to come out right away.
Allianz data shows that the number of Aussies affected by domestic and family violence and seeking support through their insurance providers has spiked by 31 per cent in the last 12 months alone, with both the volume and severity of claims continuing to rise.
The demand for Allianz's High Care Team, which provides support to vulnerable customers like those experiencing family violence, has almost doubled in that time too.
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Tthe number of Aussies affected by domestic and family violence and seeking support through their insurance providers has spiked. Pexels
The assessor who visited Lily last year immediately suspected that Lily was at risk and flagged her claim with the High Care Team, which got in touch to offer the Queensland mum additional support.
"The best thing I ever did was say yes and accept the help."
It was only when she spoke to the team that Lily realised she'd been abused for years.
Allianz provided vital support to help her get back on her feet and Lily's since found a new home for herself and her daughters, one where her ex can't turn up unannounced to harass her.
"Even though financially, we are still struggling … I now have financial freedom because he isn't controlling that anymore," she says.
"You have no idea how many people are out there that are willing to help you."
Most Aussies wouldn't think to go to insurance companies for domestic and family violence support but they can offer financial assistance and make policy changes to protect victim-survivors.
These services are especially vital as Christmas approaches.
"Unfortunately there is a spike of domestic and family violence incidents across the festive period," Laura O'Donnell, Head of Customer Advocacy, Human Rights and Community, tells 9honey.
Last Christmas Lily was distraught and being harassed by her ex who claimed she'd be facing $100,000 of debt.
If not for the assessor that helped her get support, the mum-of-two says she'd probably "still be in the fetal position, rocking back and forth" today.
"Ask for help and if it's offered, take it," she urges other vulnerable Aussies, "You have no idea how many people are out there that are willing to help you."
Support is available from the National Sexual Assault, Domestic Family Violence Counselling Service at 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732).
Since being published this story has been updated. Disclaimer: Access to the case study in this story was provided by Allianz
