'I married for money and I'm still not happy'

When I was in my early 20s I met Toby; he was 15 years older than me and had a lot of money. I wouldn't say I was madly in love with him when we started dating, but one thing I will admit is that I was very attracted to his money.

He comes from a very rich family and I grew up in a family of battlers. There were many times when we survived on tin food as my mum and dad never had any money. I made a promise to myself that I'd find a man who'd look after me so I'd never had to worry about that again.

It's not the only thing I liked about Toby; he has always been really fun to be around. But I wouldn't say I was ever in love with him, although I love lots of things about him.

He is very kind and generous; he always tells me I don't need to work, but I never want to stop working, as I love my job. Maybe I'll stop working for a while when we have kids, but I'm not ready for motherhood yet either.

My problem is that even though I've got no money worries, it definitely hasn't bought me happiness. I have moments where I think I'd rather be in love with a man with no money, than be in a relationship where I've got money but not true love.

I sound like I'm ungrateful and I'm not. I just think that I'm a classic example of a woman who put money over happiness and I'm still unhappy. I hope that others will read my story and, if they're ever in a position where they are deciding whether or not to marry a wealthy man that they don't love, they don't do it.

Sometimes I think of my ex-boyfriend. We were together for five years and I really loved him, but he broke my heart when he went travelling for two months. It was during that time I met Toby. By the time my boyfriend returned, I'd already moved on in my new relationship.

Now I feel like I'm stuck here because I love what my relationship has bought me – we have a beautiful home near the city, and we also have a holiday house near the beach. Many people would look at me and think that I "have it all" but anyone who is close to me knows that my marriage is far from perfect.

I think Toby loves me, and I'm pretty sure he thinks we have a good marriage. So I really feel like I'm living a lie and holding onto all of this for the money, nothing else. A friend said recently that I could just walk away and she is right, I could walk away as we don't have kids together. It's really a matter of me making a decision about what I value more, material things or love.