'Married At First Sight' recap, Season 5 Episode 27: Three final dates and an unexpected pash

The end is nigh.

Tonight, Married At First Sight’s final dates continue with Dean, Troy, and John bringing their romance game. No, where are you going? Don’t leave!

Each couple receives a wedding DVD under the door (because it’s 2005, and USB sticks don’t exist yet).

Also, everyone knows that only serial killers send out DVDs with ‘Play Me’ written on them.

They snuggle up on their respective couches and watch the moment it all began.

RELATED: Read 9Honey's full recap of Married At First Sight, Episode 26 

TROY & ASHLEY

Aww, remember on the wedding day when Ashley was full of smiles and genuine positivity, and her voice was four octaves higher and she thought Troy was cool? And remember the day immediately after that, when she’d twigged and everything had changed for the worse?

Watching the video alongside her, Troy begins to shake Ashley.

"LOOK AT YOU ASH! THAT’S THE POSITIVE PERSON THERE," he semi-yells, while looking at Wedding-Ashley. "AND SHE’S JUST SLOWLY DISAPPEARED!"

"Ash," Troy bellows. "Oh my goodness! You were so different back then!"

Where did it all go wrong? Was it #pushupgate?

Ash says the wedding day spark disappeared when he "turned his back" on her in bed.

Troy is disappointed that Ash has lost her "vigour" since their fateful meeting. *adds 'vigour' to list of words never to use again*

He tries desperately to remind Ash that "that guy there" in the wedding video is him. "It’s me! Remember how you were so attracted to me on that day? That is me."

Look out 'cause here I come
Doing push ups and flirting with your mum
Mistook butter for Brie
Single’s what I’m gonna be
That is me

- Troy, in The Greatest Showman

Oh, Troy. The desperation lingers. He takes her on her final date. They’re going on a seaplane.

Ashley, the flight attendant, is going on a plane. They fly to Sydney’s northern beaches so that Troy can try and replicate THAT AWFUL PICNIC DATE. You remember. The one where Troy gave Ash a pash rash and an icky feeling inside.

Troy continues to make Ash feel uncomfortable.

ASH: So, what other surprises have you got for me?
TROY: Uhhhh, yeah. First surprise is right here right now.

He leans in to kiss her and she yells "No" and turns away.

"Get off."

Troy reveals he has set up a picnic for Ash (the poor producers never get ANY OF THE CREDIT).

A man with a guitar turns up to serenade Ash. Good one, Troy! Ash loves it.

Then, something astounding happens.

Troy kisses Ash, and she doesn’t reject him.

In fact, she looks happy about it.

He then gives her this look as he pulls out a poem from one of his pockets.

Let me recite it to you.

To my dearest Ashley
The better-looking half of Team Trashley
We were two strangers in the night
When we got married at first sight
You had never met a man like me
A guy with the occasional epiphany
We’ve ridden camels, horses, attended dinner parties
Rock climbing, lawn bowls, and pilates
As we stand here on this day,
You continue to take my breath away

Personally, I think this would sound better if Dean, SORRY Visionz, rapped it.

Ash loves it? I used to be Team Ashley in this relationship but now I’m team Nobody. Team Love is Dead. Team Breakup.

It’s so confusing. I have NEVER seen Ashley like this. She’s also initiating kissing. Troy is almost as shocked as me. What is happening? Am I falling ill?

For the first time ever, I think maybe (MAYBE) they have a chance?

DEAN & TRACEY

Dean and Tracey watch their wedding video. It’s all perfect. The initial attraction, the location, and the vows.

Ohhhh, the vows.

"Tracey, I hope I can live up to the expectations you have of me… You’ll always get honesty and truth from me. I vow to be a loyal and respectful husband."

Tracey, watching the video, begins to think, "Oh... that’s weird. He has given me none of that." 

Dean tells a producer that he’s changed from the man in that wedding video. His feelings for Tracey have also changed. "I think I’m starting to love her," he says.

And I think I believe it?

Dean blindfolds Tracey and kidnaps puts her on a boat.

The boat is a boat of mixed feelings. On one hand, Tracey is living her best life. She’s on a boat (and...it’s going fast and…), drinking champagne, and wearing matching shoes with her dream man.

On the other hand, that man has treated her like dirt. It’s a toughie.

She wants to talk about The Davina Incident. This is their final date and she needs to talk this through before making her final decision at the vow renewal.

Dean and Tracey discuss The Davina Incident for about 40 minutes until eventually Dean convinces Tracey that he’s committed to her and, once again, very sorry for The Davina Incident. And the Dumping You In Week One Incident. Also, the Wife Swapping You Boys’ Night Incident.

He’s sorry for all of it, OK!

Finally, Dean says something reassuring.

"I'm here to prove to you that we're right for each other," he says. "I'm looking for a partner to have kids with."

Then they have a weird conversation about how he wants to be a working dad, while Tracey, who considers herself "old fashioned", will be the stay-at-home mum and, yeah, that’s a super backwards way of looking at parenthood, but hey…. They BOTH want this, so it could work.

I like nothing about this relationship but also…. I feel like they do suit each other quite well.

I need to sit down.

JOHN AND MELISSA

These love birds become emotional while watching the video.

They’re both feeling scared that they’re going to be rejected. I can confidently blame John for all of this. Boy needs to tell Melissa how he feels! He needs to seek some advice from Patrick, the king of feelings. It’s a bit like if you took one of the qualities from each man on the show you’d end up with the perfect person. Okay, maybe not every man.

John takes Melissa to her favourite place.

"Paris?" Melissa asks with glee.

Nah. He takes her to Melbourne, the Paris of Victoria.

They spend the day driving up Great Ocean Road and end up at a vineyard, because these two bloody love a vino.

John is pulling out all the stops. He even opens the car door for her to let her out! What a gent!

While drinking at the vineyard, Mel gets concerned about John’s inflexible lifestyle. She wants him to be open to moving to be closer to her. Mel has a teenage daughter, whereas John is an empty nester.

She feels like John should a) be the one to move and b) WANT to be closer to her.

John, in a world first, tells Melissa how he’s feeling.

So, that’s comforting, but also NOT VERY BLOODY SPECIFIC, JOHN.

NEXT TIME: The five remaining couples have their final dinner party…. Featuring the dreaded Mystery Box.

Aine Ryan is an entertainment producer at 9TheFIX and 9Honey. Tweet her at @ainefryan about all things Married At First Sight, including your predictions! 

Married At First Sight Season 5 continues Wednesday night on Nine. For more on MAFS, including behind-the-scenes clips, head to 9Now. Catch up on exclusive interviews at 9TheFIX. MAFS obsessed? Tune into 9Honey's weekly chat show, Talking Married, where you'll get the inside scoop on every episode.