'Unbearable': Disabled Melbourne mum terrified of giving birth alone amid Omicron surge

Mum, writer, disabled woman and advocate Liel K Bridgford has spoken out about her fears of giving birth alone, due to COVID-19 hospital restrictions.

Liel, who is due to be induced with her second child next week, shared a moving post to Instagram where she spoke candidly about her genuine worries for the process, given she may have to do it without her husband by her side.

"This week I've been again denied access from having my husband with me in an appointment," the writer shared.

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"This is despite the fact that we live in the same household and we had previous approval. It was the appointment where the induction was decided on, and I was very anxious and overwhelmed."

'I'm struggling to sleep'

"Giving birth is one of the hardest things I've ever done, and the prospect of doing it alone, to then hand over a baby to strangers and be separated from them, is unbearable," she continued.

"These rules are triggering so much anxiety that I'm struggling to sleep, my appetite is affected and the prospect of giving birth at home without any health professionals is almost appealing."

Speaking to 9Honey Parenting, Liel said her second pregnancy has proved more stressful than her first, due to inconsistent messaging from doctors and hospital staff, denial of a support person in appointments, and a constant sense of uncertainty.

"Having to do more of this process alone has really increased my anxiety," Liel says. "It's meant that my partner is less able to be involved, less able to be in appointments and ask questions.

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"It's meant that I've had to carry more of the mental load of the pregnancy — I've had to be the one to remember what questions to ask, and then constantly relay information second-hand. It's made my partner much more removed from the process."

Opening up about the recent occasion where her partner was suddenly no longer allowed to be present at an appointment, Liel said the moment was completely "distressing".

"We arrived at the hospital, and we were given approval by the doctor that my partner could be there, as my pregnancy has been considered high-risk because of the size of my baby," Liel explains.

"He was already in the building, and then the receptionist told us he wasn't allowed to come in.

"In the moment, that was difficult to deal with. We were trying to focus on the appointment, and it was quite an important appointment, and then for things to change at the last minute was incredibly distressing," she says.

"Trust is a really big thing. As a disabled person, I've had a lot of medical trauma in my life. And at that moment, the trust was completely lost."

'Probably the most traumatising experience of my life'

Liel says since the beginning of her pregnancy, she's been afraid of giving birth alone, and that's been magnified for her as a disabled person.

"I've known about certain measures hospitals are taking, like people being separated from their babies if they test positive for COVID, and not being able to have a support person in the room.

"That's been a great source of anxiety when I think about my own medical trauma."

As a child, Liel had no say in any of her medical treatment. On returning to the system as an adult, she says her main concern is ensuring that her voice truly is heard.

"I want my choices to be respected in the process, because there have been so many times that I've had no choice in the decisions the medical staff had made," says Liel.

"That was probably the most traumatising experience of my life. Having to try to deal with that medical ableism in the system."

'We need to know that we can trust the system'

Liel has been documenting her pregnancy for weeks and says she hopes her experience can shed light on the injustices pregnant women continue to face.

"Having a support person in the birth and leading up to the birth should be a human right, a birthing right for pregnant people, and that's been denied," she says.

"We need to know we can trust the system, we shouldn't be worrying."

Since sharing her post, Liel has been inundated with messages of support, and many women sharing similar concerns.

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"One disabled woman told me there were reduced numbers of people allowed into the birthing room when she gave birth, and that really decreased her accessibility in the moment, because she needed interpreters in place," Liel says.

"Thank you for putting the words down, I'm 31 weeks and struggling to not just be in permanent fear - I hope your induction is supported as it should be," commented one woman on the post.

Others said they were "outraged" to learn that pregnant women were being denied so many rights.

"We need to recognise that a support person is essential because it's much more than someone just holding a hand," Liel ends.

"For disabled people, it can mean ensuring accessibility, and for everyone, it means a vital calming of nerves and anxieties leading up to a birth, which is in itself, incredibly stressful."

You can view more of Liel's advocacy and work at her website, or Instagram.