'Why I just can't bring myself to embrace my grey hair'

Am I a bad feminist if dye away my grey? 

Should more women embrace their greying hair the way men do?

Why are grey-haired women seen as hags and grey-haired men considered silver foxes? There is an obvious double standard.

My hair started going grey when I was 18.

There I was at university, studying during the day and doing shots at the bar most nights — and secretly dyeing my hair so the boys didn't think I was a mature-aged student.

I'm now 45 and I'm 95 per cent grey. I'm still dyeing my hair.

That's 27 years of colouring away my shame while reading equally shamefully trashy mags.

My bright red mop is how most people recognise me.

I wish I could celebrate my grey hair as the gaining of wisdom, a rite of passage, as a billboard for growing old gracefully, but I can't. I just find it embarrassing.

If I let my frizzy curly hair go completely natural, it would resemble a Brillo pad, and my self-esteem would go down the drain too.

One of my favourite feminists, Tracey Spicer, is letting her silver streak shine. 

She recently argued the problem is not grey hair, but "the negative way society perceives ageing."

"By 2020, the colouring market in Australia will be worth $279 million. It's a waste of time and money, not to mention a Sisyphean task," Spicer wrote.

She makes an excellent point.

Back in 2012, TV presenter Yumi Stynes took a stand, saying she would no longer colour her hair to hide her greys.

"It's really that I just can't be bothered. Who's got the time to try to pretend to be something they're not?" she said.

"I'm getting older. I'm getting wrinkles too."

Yet Stynes was on TV recently with perfectly black hair. Looks like she's hit the bottle again — the dye bottle, that is.

My hairdresser, Natalie Hole from Our Place Salon, says it's no longer true that blokes just secretly use Just For Men at home.

"We've seen an increase in the number of men in our salon. They are not embarrassed or hiding it. They dye their hair and want it done professionally," she tells me.

"We also have many female clients who are pure silver, and their hair is magnificent.

"One client drives up from Canberra to our Sydney salon and her hair is blunt and dramatic. She could be a hair model."

As I write this, I'm sitting at the hairdressing salon with red goop in my hair, and I'm starting to feel less conflicted.

"It comes down to choice. If you want to embrace your grey hair, it's not a case of never seeing a hairdresser again," says Hole. 

"Grey hair can be coarser and need more conditioning and trims to keep it looking shiny and healthy. 

"Keratin is a great support for grey hair, as it smooths cuticles and adds condition and integrity to the hair. 

"It can mean the difference between sleek smooth stylish grey to unruly and unmanageable. It helps bring the shine to grey hair."

As for the feminism argument, Hole adds: "It's not about whether you are a feminist or not, it's about what makes you feel happy."

I choose to have fiery red hair to match my temper.

Grey, red, brown or blonde — everyone wants to feel like they've just stepped out of a salon.