'I thought it'd be okay for him to meet my son': Single mum's dating dilemma

I was a single mum from the time my son was seven, and it was difficult. I got used to being on my own but when I turned 40 I decided to try dating apps.

To say it's been a bit of a rollercoaster would be a huge understatement.

There were many men I never wanted to see again after our first date, but eventually I met Liam*. We communicated online for a while and then started talking on the phone before we met in person.

It felt really good being with him, we felt very much at ease with each other and I did think that he could be 'the one.'

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We were together for about a month before I thought it'd be okay for him to meet my son. Well, it went okay but not fantastic.

Liam had already told me he wasn't a big fan of little kids, and that's okay because that'd be true of many men. I just told myself Liam had been a bachelor for too long and that's why he wasn't that good with kids.

He shook hands with my son and then pretty much ignored him. I get it, seven-year-olds can be a bit annoying every now and then, but my son is super quiet and intelligent. You can really have a great conversation with him. So I just reassured myself it would get better with time.

We dated for about two more months before I insisted on another catchup and that's when I think I saw the first of Liam's bad side.

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He barely said hello to my son and when he asked him a question about something he'd seen in the park, Liam replied, "How would I know?" 

I mentioned to Liam that if we were going to get more serious then he needs to make an effort with my son as he is part of me, and would be his step son one day. Well, that set Liam off, he said he didn't start dating me thinking he'd be a father. 

We broke up for a few weeks after that, instigated by me because I wanted to have a good think about what the hell I was doing.

But he romanced me back again and things were okay for a short time until there was an incident that made me want to just end things with him for good. 

We were at a family event and I overheard Liam telling my brother-in-law that there is "no way" he wants to be a father and didn't enter the relationship thinking he'd have to be any kind of "father figure." I heard my brother-in-law say, "You're joking, right?"  Liam laughed but I know he wasn't joking.

Then, later at my house, my son accidentally spilled a smoothie and some of it went on Liam's legs, wetting his jeans. Well, he exploded. He called my son a "stupid little dickhead" and when he apologised, Liam swore at him and told him he was a "waste of space."  

I was so upset. My son is such a sweet boy and doesn't deserve anyone to talk to him that way. 

So I ended my relationship that night and now I'm with a man who has three kids and is more than happy to be with a woman who has a son. He tells me he feels lucky to get an "extra kid." So he is the man for me!

*Names have been changed.