Sam’s community was ravaged by the Black Summer bushfires, then lost three young men to suicide. He was one of them

Exclusive: Sam Hill was 20 when the Black Summer bushfires tore through his family’s dairy farm in Cudgewa, Victoria and reduced hectares of land to a smouldering ruin.

Less than a year later, he took his own life. The hardest part for his parents is that they will never fully understand why.

“A lot of people assume everyone that takes their life has some sort of mental illness [...] but it’s not always obvious,” Elise told nine.com.au.

“And that’s probably something that I find a bit challenging.”

Sam had no history of depression or anxiety, but he was traumatised by the fire that reduced 90 per cent of their property to ash, and he wasn’t the only one.

Have you got a story? Contact reporter Maddison Skipper: mskipper@nine.com.au

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The Black Summer bushfires of 2019-20 devastated communities across Victoria, New South Wales, Queensland and beyond, destroying thousands of homes and claiming dozens of lives.

Australia is now staring down the barrel of possibly the ‘strongest ever’ El Nino, bringing with it drier weather and hotter temperatures across Australia’s east.

The Hills have faced such threats before. They’re not afraid to do it again.

“We have a big fire in Victoria somewhere every year [...] so we have a pretty good system in place,” James said.

Many in the Upper Murray region, where the Hill family still lives, struggled to rebuild after the fires and access to specialised mental health support was limited.

The community was rocked by the first suicide in February – a young man who had attended the same primary school as Sam – as bushfires still burned across parts of Victoria.

They had no idea two more would follow.

A farm boy who ‘loved his animals’

The eldest of two sons, Sam loved fishing, showing cattle and helping out on the farm as a boy.

“He was overly caring, loved his animals,” James told nine.com.au.

After finishing Year 12, Sam went to university to study agribusiness. Elise imagines he would have worked at a rural bank after graduating.

When the fires hit late on December 30, 2019, Sam helped his family save the house and nearly 300 animals, then checked on neighbouring properties for the locals that had evacuated.

The Hill family were without power for 18 days and had no time to process what they’d lived through; there was too much work to do, and too few hands to do it.

“It was very isolating, really, because they were restricting people moving in and people moving out,” Elise said.

“We had no phone reception and limited power, and everything was sort of word of mouth. It was a very challenging time.”

Like many who witnessed the carnage of the Black Summer fires, Sam struggled.

A few months later, his long-term relationship ended. 

“There was certainly a point then when we knew that he wasn’t coping that well,” Elise said, but “it was more than just the fires”.

Even in their worst nightmares, she and James never could have imagined what came next.

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“There was nothing to tell us that that was going to be the end for him,” Elise said.

While she, James and Sam’s younger brother Jake fell apart, the rest of the world kept spinning. That only made his death harder to process.

“You don’t cope really, you’re a bit numb at the start. It certainly doesn’t feel real for a very long time,” Elise said.

Isolated by the fires and the COVID-19 pandemic, the Hill family had limited access to bereavement and mental health support that could meet their needs.

Aussies in regional, rural, and remote areas face complex barriers to accessing mental health services, including attitudes, cost and digital factors.

When James tried calling a support helpline a few months after Sam’s death, he got an answering machine.

“I just hung up. Didn’t try that again,” he said.

This ‘mental health gap’ often leads to worse outcomes and rates of self-harm and suicide increase with remoteness.

There are some organisations bridging the gap by providing specialised assistance like Farm Angels, which supported the Hill family after the Black Summer fires and contributed to Sam’s funeral, but they alone can’t solve these inequities.

So when a third young man in the Upper Murray community died by suicide in May, 2021 the Hill family took things into their own hands.

Keeping Sam’s memory alive

Nearly a year after losing Sam, Elise and James starter Corryong Spirit with the families of the other two young men who took their lives.

The community event brings locals together and raises awareness for mental health by honouring all those who have died.

“Grief is such a big thing in people’s lives, and we thought if we could actually help support people along the way, that would be a benefit,” Elise said.

“Because some people feel very unsupported.”

Despite years of work to raise awareness and education around suicide prevention, Australia’s age-standardised suicide rate for men has not dipped.

It breaks Elise’s heart to know that even with so much more discussion and support around suicide, the numbers remain so high.

So she, James, and the other locals keep Corryong Spirit going and keep their sons’ memories alive in the hope of a better future.

The Hill family have also stepped up as ambassadors for Farm Angels’ Flanno for a Farmer campaign to raise much-needed funds to support Aussie farmers.

The charity still sends James a Father’s Day gift every year, in Sam’s memory.

Sam’s ute still sits on their Cudgewa property. The house is still full of photos of him. The family still sign all their Christmas cards with his name.

And James still talks to Sam as he goes about each day on the farm they saved together.

“Everybody takes their loss differently,” James said.

“Now we think of our good times we had together, instead of being angry and all the rest of it. And we had a lot of good times together.”

Learn more about Corryong Spirit here. Support the Farm Angels ‘Flanno for a Farmer’ campaign here.

If you or someone you know is in need of support contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue. In the event of an emergency dial Triple Zero (000).