Former NSW premier Mike Baird's mental health struggle 10 years after Lindt Cafe siege
"Everyone just wanted them out. And you know, for it not to happen, there's a deep grief in that. And I think the impact is felt by everyone," Baird said, commemorating the 10-year anniversary of the siege.
"To have that loss of Tori and Katrina, I'll never lose that," Baird said, referring to the two hostages who were tragically killed during the siege.
"It's just impossible not to feel guilt."
Former NSW premier Mike Baird has revealed he battled PTSD in the wake of the Lindt Cafe siege. Nine
Baird admitted he sees his own mental struggle as a very small part of the impact the siege had on Australians, including the enormous pain felt by the families of cafe manager Tori Johnson and barrister Katrina Dawson.
"In my mind there's a sense of, 'I shouldn't be impacted that way'," Baird said.
"I was just there as an observer and trying to coordinate a response."
In the aftermath of the siege it was the former premier's mother, a psychologist, who noticed her son's symptoms of PTSD.
Baird said it's 'impossible not to feel guilt' over the death of two hostages. Nine
"I ignored it and there was other things to get on with and be busy about. But I should have listened," Baird said.
Just over two years after the siege, Baird left politics.
Afterwards, he finally heeded his mother's warnings and sought counselling to address the trauma.
After the Christchurch mosque shootings in 2019, Baird wrote to then-New Zealand prime minister Jacinda Ardern, relaying his experience and urging her to seek help if she needed it.
Baird is now chair of Cricket Australia and the CEO of the Susan McKinnon Foundation, a not-for-profit organisation aimed at helping politicians devise more effective, evidence-based policies for the good of the country.
The former NSW premier broke down in tears recalling the crisis. Nine
Several hostages who survived the terrifying ordeal, including Louisa Hope, told 60 Minutes that the memories will never leave them.
"For me personally it does not go away, but it is the thing that pushes me to continue to find the good or to find a good out of that awful situation," she said.
Like Baird, Hope has channeled her work into socially impactful initiatives in the decade since the siege.
The Louisa Hope Fund for nurses continues to raise money for healthcare workers, including those who treated the gunshot wounds she sustained during the siege.
"As we think about what can happen as a result of something so bad, so awful for all of us, some good can come," Hope said.
Watch the full story on 9Now.
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